Finding your Lifelong People

Finding your Lifelong People

portrait of Grant; 4-23-17, Lake Merritt, Oakland.

portrait of Grant; 4-23-17, Lake Merritt, Oakland.

If you ever have the chance to meet my friend Grant, then there's one thing you'll learn from the second you meet him: he's the most deeply insightful and philosophical person you'll ever meet. 

I'm not exaggerating- not even in the slightest.  Ask him a question, and he'll give you a deep answer, rooted in the teachings of Plato and Aristotle.  It's the craziest, most fascinating thing I've ever heard, and makes me feel slightly intellectually incompetent when talking to him.  

But sometimes (all the time) he says something really genius, that sticks with me for a moment.  Well, longer than a moment, actually. I think the better way of saying it is that sometimes, he says something, and it eats me alive for a few days as my brain tries to process it and rethink my entire life according to it. Yeah, he's that good.  

But, it was one particular conversation between us that inspired me to write this post.  We were sitting on a dock, in the middle of Lake Merritt, and he mentioned how we were "lifelong people" for each other.  

And I paused, knowing nothing of and exactly of what he meant.  You see, we met many, many years ago, when we were both in the 6th grade.  I think we were 12.  We met doing musical theater, at a local production group in our tiny Northern California town.  We became so, so close. And then, we stopped talking, for a solid five years.  

I don't really know why. Sometimes, you just fall away from people.  We went to different high schools, had different friends. It wasn't until this year that we reconnected.  We had both moved away from our horrible hometowns and found freedom in the Bay Area.  And from the second we saw each other, we were able to strike up conversation again, as if we hadn't gone five+ years without speaking to each other. Now, we see each other at least once a month, and it's like no time had passed between middle school and now.  

I always say that people come into your life for two reasons: 1. To stay, or 2. To teach you a lesson.  And while we meet so many people in our lifetime that fall into the latter category, it's important not to dwell on them. Take whatever lesson they teach you for what it is, and devote your time to the people in the first category.  The lifelong people.  The people who you can talk to for hours on end without fail, the people who make your heart race when you see them, the people who you're physically and spiritually aligned with on every level.  Those are the people we need to devote our time to. Those are the people whose opinions matter and whose words are important, not the people who come in for a few months and leave without another word.  

Finding those lifelong people can be hard.  Sometimes you search and search, and sometimes you see them and your heart just knows.  Either way, they all have one thing in common: they come into your life when you least expect them to. 

So with that said, don't look for them, even when you know where they are.  Don't pine for them, even when you know who they are. Sit back and let the universe deliver them into your life with divine timing.  

And above all, just be grateful that you've found some of yours.  

Querying Sucks + Writing a New Novel

Querying Sucks + Writing a New Novel

Taming of the Narcissist

Taming of the Narcissist